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Secret Astrological Data Finally Revealed!

Welcome, fellow seekers of the Light ! In your endless quest for ultimate self-realization, you have no doubt become familiar with Western Astrology, Eastern Astrology, Indian Astrology, Mayan, African, Egyptian, Tunisian and Bulgarian Astrologies, along with the myriad of other forms of self-mastery known to humankind. Now, here, revealed for the first time since the 9th (or maybe the 10th) century, you are about to discover what is possibly the most staggeringly enlightened form of Astrology that ever existed throughout the annuls of time - the amazing and startlingly complex world of Hyropian Astrology.

Hyropia was an ancient society that nobody even knew about until last month (right after the New Moon), when some artifacts were unearthed during a camping trip in Des Moines, Iowa.

After being alerted to this phenomenal discovery (thanks to being on the right mailing list), I and my fellow truth seeker and soulmate Cosmic Angel worked diligently for days without sleep, food or drink (actually we DID have a few drinks), and slowly but surely, these stunning Astrological truths were shockingly revealed (along with some strange 'cereal', a bathing outfit, and what appears to be some sort of phonograph record - more about that later).

We couldn't help but notice the amazing similarities between the Hyropian system and our own system of Astrology. The cards are presented in the same order as ours - starting with Foreskin (which corelates to our sign of Aries, and on through to the Passive Pelican (much more enlightened than our paltry understanding of the twelfth and last sign of Pisces). However, there are differences, as well -- the Hyropians didn't even refer to the 12 groups as 'signs' (how dreary) but rather as 'Portals', and instead of 4 elements (our sadly unenlightened Fire, Earth, Air and Water), the Hyropians refer to what they called the Three Particles - Rust, Soot and Yeast.

WARNING -- The insights that are to be revealed here are deeply profound; please do not proceed unless you believe yourself to be truly ready to revel in such intense self-examination.

(About the 'phonograph record' - it's round and oddly metallic and it seems to be of a band calling themselves the Particles; the name of the apparent song is "Yeast, Soot and Rust, Part One." We believe we have also uncovered some lyrics, but we haven't been able to fully translate them at this time. Stay tuned.).

- Robby C. ~ Zelbrich 9, 2214

Set 1

Foreskin Supreme Beans of Leisure Frosted Fairy (aka Fairy Frost)
Black Snow The Deluded Dandelion Wincing Yam

Set Two - Working to deliver this knowledge to you as we speak!


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