| Welcome,
fellow seekers of the Light ! In your endless quest
for ultimate self-realization, you have no doubt
become familiar with Western Astrology, Eastern
Astrology, Indian Astrology, Mayan, African,
Egyptian, Tunisian and Bulgarian Astrologies, along
with the myriad of other forms of self-mastery known
to humankind. Now, here, revealed for the first time
since the 9th (or maybe the 10th) century, you are
about to discover what is possibly the most
staggeringly enlightened form of Astrology that ever
existed throughout the annuls of time - the amazing
and startlingly complex world of Hyropian Astrology. Hyropia was an
ancient society that nobody even knew about until
last month (right after the New Moon), when some
artifacts were unearthed during a camping trip in Des
Moines, Iowa.
After
being alerted to this phenomenal discovery (thanks to
being on the right mailing list), I and my fellow
truth seeker and soulmate Cosmic Angel worked
diligently for days without sleep, food or drink
(actually we DID have a few drinks), and slowly but
surely, these stunning Astrological truths were
shockingly revealed (along with some strange
'cereal', a bathing outfit, and what appears to be
some sort of phonograph record - more about that
later).
We
couldn't help but notice the amazing similarities
between the Hyropian system and our own system of
Astrology. The cards are presented in the same
order as ours - starting with Foreskin
(which corelates to our sign of Aries, and on through
to the Passive Pelican (much more enlightened than
our paltry understanding of the twelfth and last sign
of Pisces). However, there are differences, as well
-- the Hyropians didn't even refer to the 12 groups
as 'signs' (how dreary) but rather as 'Portals', and
instead of 4 elements (our sadly unenlightened Fire,
Earth, Air and Water), the Hyropians refer to what
they called the Three Particles - Rust, Soot and
Yeast.
WARNING
-- The insights that are to be revealed here are
deeply profound; please do not proceed unless you
believe yourself to be truly ready to revel in such
intense self-examination.
(About
the 'phonograph record' - it's round and oddly
metallic and it seems to be of a band calling
themselves the Particles; the name of the apparent
song is "Yeast, Soot and Rust, Part One."
We believe we have also uncovered some lyrics, but we
haven't been able to fully translate them at this
time. Stay tuned.).
-
Robby C. ~ Zelbrich 9, 2214
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